Beef Pie

© Joselito Briones

Homemade by my lovely husband.

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setting uprIght knocked down school chairs

High school competitive Quiz open season. 1982 or thereabouts.  Anybody with the guts for it could enter.  Having the guts didn’t cost anything, so off to the quizzes I went.

I didn’t do particularly well that year, a fifth place in science and third place in English (I think).

My brother Uwel, three years my senior, and his friends were there cheering for me through the windows and grates of the school library where it was held. The talk was that I can finally put upright the chairs he knocked down while we were  in high school.  I was sure he was proud of me.

I remember the buzz and tension after every question. I’m usually indifferent about things like this, but that time they managed to get me excited. Excited enough to look forward to the following year.

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thanks eric cyntch and carina for the photo.

Tiny boots as vase

© Joselito Briones

Another round of chemo drugs today.

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Thanks for the sinigang na baboy

© Joselito Briones

Filipino comfort food, made at home in Brooklyn.  Thanks!

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Freshly baked banana chocolate bread

© Joselito Briones

© Joselito Briones

Thanks husband, they’re delicious!

Banana-chocolate bread and chocolate chip cookies from Maggie George‘s recipe.

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Wall decoration

© Joselito Briones
Wall objects.  The oil painting was by Charles’ grandfather. Ceramics mostly from Astier dela Villatte. 

Charles eventually relented and agreed to not keep the hanging lantern where it was in this picture.  I sit on that side of the couch because of the wheelchair and I always felt like the lantern was gonna fall on my head.

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2 years ago

© Joselito Briones

2 years ago, when I could still walk, project construction site close to jfk.  I was so looking forward to doing the whole thing. I loved how peaceful it was there.

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tiny hand blown glass vase

© Joselito Briones

Tiny blown glass vase in the shape of a head from la soufflérie. 

Out apartment constantly has flowers since lockdown.

 

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Iittle luxuries

© Joselito Briones

These enormous bath towels from Paris, pure washed linen, pure luxury.

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Den Den

© Louie  Briones

We have a tradition in the Philippines that’s a cross between a  debutante’s ball and a religious procession.

This is Den Den, a grandchild one of my brothers.  

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A day at the hospital

© Joselito Briones

Long hair courtesy of COVID-19 lockdown..

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Help me, Doggie, I think I’m falling

© Joselito Briones 
Over the last 15 months, I’ve been in and out of hospitals, I’ve seen and/or been treated by numerous doctors, neurologists, oncologists, onconeurologists, neurosurgeons, radiologists, had undergone craneotomy twice, and just about anything else they can throw at me.
I’m tired.

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I’m waiting for you

Love this show. Seen all of it several times.

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Ano sabi mo?

© Joselito Briones

What did you say dear?  My eldest sister, Norie, would ask earnestly whenever I started belting/shouting a song. It took me a while before I caught on that she was making fun of me, inferring that she couldn’t tell if I was singing or just talking to myself really, really loud.  I must have been 10 or 11.

There was a flurry of activity that day.  I was hanging around Norie’s room because she was moving.  Nobody said where to. I assumed to Manila, where else?  Another sister was taking over her room. I don’t know if it was my age, I always assumed everything’s fine. 

After a while, I remember receiving a card from Norie.  The card said,  “Missing you!”.  It had two penguins hugging. It had a very specific smell that I have since associated with things sent from the U.S..

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Afternoon sun

© Joselito Briones

This is what the afternoon sun looks like in our tiny living room.  There’s a young tamarind tree, passion fruit vines and other greens all planted and taken care of by Charles.

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On my father’s shoulders

© Joselito Briones

In the Philippines we start celebrating Christmas in September, as soon as we get a respite from summer heat.

It usually ends early January.

One Christmas season, I must have been 5 or 6, my father took me to work - a bus depot that he managed.  In the waiting room, right next to the glittery Christmas tree was a poster of “Jaws”, that summer’s ubiquitous image. 

There was a buzz in the air., “Mrs. is here.”, everyone whispered.  “Mrs.” was always just “Mrs.”.  She was the boss, owner of the company.  My father must have been busy attending to work.  When eventually he caught wind of her presence, he grabbed and lifted me to his shoulders and we ran and looked for Mrs.  The idea was to see if she was giving Christmas presents.  She was gone by the time we got to her office.

Whenever I’m reminded of that day though, I realize it wasn’t the missed “papasko” that I think about.  It was that my father never  picked me up  before then, at least not that I remember. I remember that it was nice being on his shoulders. I remember it was awkward because even at that young age I was tall and spindly.

I remember feeling special.

 

We went back to his office and he sat me on his desk He told me to keep my hands open and onto them he dumped all the coins from his pockets.

Happy days.

 

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i can use my right hand again...

© Joselito Brionesor so i dreamt.  

I woke up middle of the night without the usual heaviness on my right arm. i slowly moved my fingers. They’re here alright, although i couldn’t tell where my right hand was.  moving some more confirmed that my right hand was resting flat on my belly.  my right hand was moving freely again.

fearing the disappointment of finding out that this was just a dream, i forced myself awake, once in a while moving my hand to make sure that i can still do it.  after a couple of hours i fell asleep again.  I woke up again and found my right hand very stiff again.

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glorious morning

this is the morning glory vine that charles planted at t  window by my side of the bed. it’s already got two flowers since he planted it a month ago.  pretty eh?

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you...

left something in the toilet, darling husband.

 

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bukó revelation

There was one time when one of my sisters, Ate Julie, when I was about 10 or 11 and she in college, was obsessed with the movie "Fame", Irene Cara, and her song "Out Here on My Own".  I was still in elementary school then and have not heard of the movie until she told me about it.  She had a radio with her and she turned the station dial relentlessly until she found a station that played the song. What was memorable about it was that before then, I never saw her passionate and excited about anything at all.  She's always kept to herself.   I never saw her reveal so much of herself after that, either.

Satisfied on finding and hearing the song at that moment, she let me in on a something even more precious to her:  she said much as she loved the song,  there was another in the same movie that she loved even more.  I remember her trying afterwards to play down how much she loved it, which only made it obvious that she did.   She had a girly crush and she told me about it!

Today, as everyone in the family has their heart and mind with her, I looked up the song and found the video, above, which appears to have been filmed a couple of blocks from where I first lived in New York.

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our lovely fish tank

© Joselito Briones
I love how with the new Canon 5D Mark IV, pulling focus is just a matter of of pointing at different elements of the view on the touchscreen LCD monitor.

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