I voted for Obama

Scary Movie V (A Postscript to the Trilogy)

© Joselito Briones

Fear is fair game. Ask insurance companies, they know you're afraid of what might happen. They've made an art form of extracting money from you in exchange for their best selling product: peace of mind. Just hope and pray nothing wrong does happen. They've made an even higher art form of not giving money - or giving as little, in as much delay, and with as much difficulty as possible - to insurance claimers.

If there isn't enough fear to make good business out of, one can always elevate something mildly irritating into a fullblown menace. Ask pharmaceutical companies. If they can help it, they'd classify being tired after exerting some physical effort as some sort of disease that everyone should be afraid of. They of course, would have the cure, and you'll have to buy it if you want to be well. Why take a rest (Not a reliable cure!) when you can pop a pill in your mouth (It's formulated by a scientist wearing a white coat! It's dispensed by a pharmacist with a name tag! Also in a white coat!) to relieve yourself of fatigue? I wonder how much longer it will be before they successfully lobby the right people in Washington to classify menopause as a medical condition for which they can sell you the treatment.

Did you hear about the Bin Laden tapes that has recently surfaced basically telling everyone in the western world to be afraid? Who do you think is more scary, Bin Laden because he says he'll kill you for not symphathising with him, or the media manipulators who keep on feeding America with enough fear to repeatedly condone the US engagement in war?

On TV they're starting to remind us of what happened 20 years ago in Chernobyl. Yes it's something to be afraid of. It's not too long ago that it won't have anymore effect on you. Britain is considering a new nuclear power plant as a supplementary source of power for one of its cities. Iran says it's doing the same. Calling insurance companies! I wonder how much they'd be willing to pay to insure against an accident. I wonder if the residents would also consider taking one, or if they're just resigned to the idea that should a fallout occur, their whole families will just get wiped out, no use for an insurance. Pharmaceutical companies should start putting up more factories producing cure for enlarged thyroids. Imagine if more young kids get ill with it... they'll need the medicine for the rest of their lives! Big bucks!!!

The US government is telling us that we should be afraid of Iran's nuclear aspirations. Iranian leadership declared a couple of months back that they'd wipe out Israel off the map if they can help it. Then they declared they'll help themselves to a nuclear development program. Huh? In nuke speak Iguess that translates to "We've beeen doing this for a while now, but now it's gotten big that we can't deny it or keep it a secret anymore, so we decided to say to the world that we're considering it." Do you think it possible that they're also secretly afraid that they maybe the next oil-producing country that the US might be interested in giving its own brand of democracy to, and in effect decided to make a preemptive action?

And finally, as if all this isn't enough to keep one thinking that the best place to be now is inside "Lost's" subterranean shelter, I changed the channel to CNN and what do I see? The thing that scared the bejeesus out of me. Larry King shamelessly flirting with Jane Fonda! Okay ,fine, that wasn't scary, that was just creepy. When I heard that they were discussing about Jane Fonda's book, I realized it was a rerun from last year. They timed it for the release of the paperback version of the book. You'll have to admit though that her book being on the New York Times bestseller list WAS scary? Surely??? Fine, have it your way.


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And the winner is...

Several days of protests in the streets of Paris, enough embarassment for Chirac and his government, and the scrapping of the labor law that might send top heads rolling. One would say that the French youth has won yet again, and don't they have a history of winning against the government?

The one obvious winner of all this though is hottie Bruno Julliard, leader of the largest student union in France, UNEF. He's telegenic, well-mannered, and like most French youth, he seemed to always know exactly what he's talking about (I say seemed, because the show I was watching with him in it was in French). He's obviously got convincing power too, as the other members of the panel (mostly his senior) seem to stop and listen whenever he spoke. I'd almost say he'd need at least a hair stylist, but I guess his nerdy hairstyle gives him street cred.


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