frei aber froh

no, my german has not improved at all.  it's got something to do with the music accompanying this letter (you'll have to play the music above).  johannes brahm's musical motto for this symphony Symphony No. 3 in F major, Op. 90  (3rd movement, poco allegreto) consisted of the notes F-A(flat)-F, the first letters of frei aber froh.  and no, i have not suddenly become a music expert either, i just read it somewhere else.  why frei "aber" froh (free "but" happy), you might ask, not frei "und" froh (free "and" happy)?  supposedly it's in response to the composer's friend's motto of frei aber einsam (free but lonely).

what about this music then?   not sure.  i think this is supposed to be meadows and creeks and flowers of spring, but somehow it gives me all sorts of feelings - at times confused and indecisive, bouts of resolve and brief periods of peace, sometimes hopeful but nothing more. it stops short of a conclusion, as if happiness or whatever resolution there is to be had lies after the last note.  i was listening to this when i was thinking of my last year in berlin and somehow it just fits and i couldn't get it out of my head.

i read somewhere that real happiness is that moment when you are faced with the promise of being happy.  i'm hoping the same is true about not being happy - that the worst one can feel is when one fears the possibility of not being happy - because if it's true, then the worst is over.

anyway, i should hear from my lawyer anytime soon. today is the court hearing for my divorce.


XXX

riding for the feeling

,

"in conclusion... leaving is easy
when you've got someplace you need to be..."
- bill callahan

hmmm.  lately these letters seem to be like a countdown of some sort, don't you think?  give me until first week of september and i promise i'll snap out of it. in the meantime here's some more depressing sad music.


XXX

doctor who is back!

yay!  new doctor who episodes are here, finally.  the first one's called "let's kill hitler" and picks up where it left off, it's a sci-fi soap actually. someone who was called something before now has a different name and character, someone's killer turns out to be someone's lover. someone's best friend turns out to be her mother, someone who died in one episode turns out to be alive after all.  see what i mean?  this episode belongs to alex kingston.

XXX

antony and the johnsons

another charlie - well, this one's a "charles", a friend who lives near you actually, says a lot of the music i listen to are very depressing, sad music.  i guess it's true. here's an example. antony and the johnsons.  again, not my favorite among their songs but the only one they have with a proper video.

XXX

meet charlie

in case you've been wondering who this "charlie" is who's been leaving comments here, well, here she is :)

***

hi joey,

hindi ko alam kung anong pic ang i-aattached ko kaya i2ng best pictures ko na lang.

thank you...pinky

So, this picture was taken last July 1 CANADA DAY...i live close to this beach in Lakeshore,Toronto.

It was already past 8:00pm but during peak summer here it is still sunny around 9:00pm.

We are waiting for the fireworks,very far from HongKong Fireworks. But because it is getting late we just went home because it is not worth the wait.

The funny thing is instead of having fresh air here in Toronto,the smell of marijuana is always in the air.The same thing during canada day,so we went home before we get addicted to it.

***

XXX

dylan leblanc

this isn't my favorite among his songs, but this is the only one with a proper video... so here you go. dylan leblanc

XXX

ice candy

as promised, here's the ice candy that woke me up so early yesterday.  i bought these from muji, where they come in 100% apple juice and grape juice flavors. i like the grape juice better.

i remember we used to sell the home-made type when i was a child.  or maybe it was my nanny (meding?) who made and sold them and i just watched her make them and helped tying the end to a knot which was difficult because there was always very little of the plastic left to tie.  there were two basic flavors that i can remember - buko (young coconut meat, coconut water, water, sugar) and red mung beans (boiled red beans, with sugar).  am sure there were other flavors but i can't remember them.  there might have been chocolate (cocoa, water, sugar?) and melons, but not so sure anymore. i think we also sold ice, so i can only assume that not every household in our neighborhood had a freezer then.  i can't imagine now how it might have made sense, because with what we could've charged for ice candy and ice at that time, and the cost of electricity, i doubt if she made any money. back then of course, it was always hot and there was always ice candy in the freezer and that's all that mattered.


XXX